Finding comfort in chaos
To live is to be in constant motion. Not a single moment ever stays. And it appears that the harder one tries to make sense of it all, the more bizarre it becomes. No human being is immune. Life touches us all — painfully, indescribably – It’s chaotic. There will always be change, it will always be impermanent - because that’s what fosters growth, evolution. It doesn’t always go according to plan, and I wouldn’t want it to. It seems I have found comfort in that, like I’m thriving in that whirlwind of the unsettled life.
I feel at peace when things are a little tough - calm, in control and I know what to do. It is at times where there is no chaos that I feel aimless and uncomfortable, that I feel my restless soul knocking, like it feels the need to create the chaos itself, to self-destruct when life is easy, because I have no idea how to live when the storm has passed. Because maybe that chaos distracts us from the demons living inside our heads. Maybe those constant fires in our daily lives bury emotions, remove the actual pressure to deal with issues - All the boxes, all the baggage packed away so tightly in the corners of our minds, rushing to the surface when life is calm, forcing you to face them. Oh, maybe I’ll just always feel more comfortable in chaos.